Because life happens. And in polite company, you really can’t say “Who gives a *&^$!”
Four southern women were having lunch at the club. Three matriarchs of the community and a young woman that had recently married into their social set. The husband of the beautiful young woman had recently divorced his first wife, a close friend of the three matriarchs and he had remarried. The three felt the need to impress upon the young woman their rank and role in the community.
So they took her to lunch and over sweet tea, had the following conversation.
In an effort to impress, Elizabeth, the first of the three commented that for her recent wedding anniversary, her husband, Beauregard had given her a mink coat. Full length, female mink, trimmed in fox. She looked very pleased to share the example of her husband’s thoughtfulness and wealth.
“How wonderful!” said Trudy, matriarch #2.
“You’re so lucky,” said Evelyn, matriarch, #3.
“How nice.” said the beautiful young woman quietly.
Unhappy with the truly unimpressed reaction of the young woman, Trudy offered up an example of her husband’s wealth and gift-giving abilities.
“Elizabeth,” Trudy gushed, “I’m thrilled for you. My Andrew is similarly thoughtful. For my birthday last week, he gave me tickets for two to a cruise! Three weeks. European capitals. First class cabin! We’ll live like royalty!” she declared.
“That’s amazing,” declared Elizabeth, truly impressed.
“How wonderful,” Evelyn offered up, excited at the thought.
“How nice,” said the beautiful young woman. Again, seemingly unimpressed.
Evelyn decided that perhaps she could provide an example to this young woman that would truly put her in her place.
So, Evelyn waded into the conversation to offer her story of her husband’s gift giving prowess. “Aren’t we all so lucky!” she declared. “My Stephen came home just yesterday, pulling into the driveway with the most beautiful convertible Mercedes! It has a sound system that has you convinced that Harry Connick is sitting right beside you and Italian leather seats so butter soft you never want to get out.”
Her two friends were both impressed and a bit envious. But in the spirit of the gathering, gushed appropriately.
“Oh my! How generous!” said Elizabeth.
“You’re so lucky! What an amazing gift,” gushed Trudy.
“How nice.” Offered the beautiful young woman, sipping her tea, no discernible expression on her face.
Exasperated with the lack of impact the three women looked at each other unsure what to do. Their stories of their husbands, their wealth and their largess was not having the desired result. Out of patience they challenged the young woman.
“You seem completely unimpressed by the stories of our husbands and what they have done for us. Your first wedding anniversary was last week. What did your husband do for you? He couldn’t possibly be as kind and generous as our husbands. And we know he’s not as wealthy.” challenged Elizabeth.
“Well,” the young woman paused, “for our anniversary, my husband sent me to charm school.”
“Charm School!!!” the three thundered at once. And then started to laugh.
“Charm School! So tell us dear, what did teach you at Charm School?” Trudy sneered.
“Well,” the young woman started. . . .she sipped her sweet tea and looked across the table, pausing to make eye contact with each one.
“At charm school,” she smiled and continued, “we learned that in a social situation, when you really want to say ‘who gives a fuck?!’ you simply smile sweetly and say, ‘How nice.'”